Remember Love: Words for Tender Times by Cleo Wade

Author:Cleo Wade [Wade, Cleo]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Harmony/Rodale
Published: 2023-10-17T00:00:00+00:00

We react. It is human. Our first thought is not often in our control but our next thought is usually our choice.

To live with joy and want joy for others is to live with the best possible energy. It is an energy that attracts and spreads goodness, that keeps you motivated and inspires others. It is the definition of good vibes. It is a sustainable magic that can shift almost any circumstance.

I recently asked Cheryl Strayed how she defined vulnerability.

She said,

“Vulnerability is being honest about who you are and what you are going through.”

Words like vulnerability and authenticity are so widely used, it is hard to understand exactly what they are or how to practice them.

It is difficult to be honest about who we are. There are parts of ourselves we don’t love, can’t look at, and hope no one notices as we sweep them under the rug. We have pasts that haunt us, shame that follows us around like a shadow at high noon. Everything we can’t forgive or give grace pushes us into a daze of dishonesty, often leaving us feeling estranged and lonely.

We can’t connect because we can’t be vulnerable--we can’t be honest with those we love about who we are and what we are going through. We can’t see our needs because we are afraid to view ourselves with honest eyes.

I was this way for a long time. My connections were wide but not deep. I wanted to be the person who was always okay. The person who was never bothered or hurt. If I flooded those around me with helpful, giving energy, then I wouldn’t have to ask myself what I had gone through or was going through that needed help and healing.

I think a large part of this is because I didn’t have a safe or brave space to be vulnerable. I wasn’t surrounded by people I felt could love me as I was. I am not even sure I felt I could love me the way I was.

Cheryl’s definition offered so much clarity to my traveled road. I never knew how to be vulnerable. I didn’t wake up one morning and think, I want to be more vulnerable. I really didn’t understand that word.

I did, however, wake up one morning and say I’m ready to look at my life with the most honest possible eyes. I’d read a book of poems by Hafiz that led me on a yearlong-journey of devouring books in the spirituality and self-help aisles.

There was something in me that was tired of the shallow end, I wanted to learn to swim. I sought out relationships that could hold my honesty and help me unearth the parts of myself and my story I’d buried. I met new people, I fell into a closer, deeper, more intimate bond with old friends, I worked to mend or at least minimize my wounds. A few years later I wrote Heart Talk, my first book.

It is easy to float through the world. But good God, if you can learn to swim, I do recommend it.

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